Where Do Babies Come From?
by The Dark Wrote
Summary: Kyo gets asked an... awkward question. He just knows that Hikaru set this all up... A Fruits Basket & Ouran High School x-over SLASH


**WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

"Uncle," two twin voices said at the same time. "Where do babies come from?"

The cool, wonderful milk that Kyo had been drinking suddenly found itself across the room all over the kitchen table. The milk mourned its opportunity to be drunken, and would have pouted if it was capable. Drat, a chance to strengthen bones lost...

Kyo himself was coughing up a lung, his face turning red from lack of air. When he could finally breathe again, he turned bewildered crimson eyes to two twin little faces that peered up at him seriously. With a groan, Kyo pushed himself up from the kitchen chair, moving over to the counter where the paper towels were. He came back, wiped off the table, threw away the soiled towels, then sat down once more and turned to look at his table mates.

Very late last night, Hikaru had come pounding at Kyo and Kaoru's front door. The man, completely ignorant to what time it was (11:38 PM for god sakes!), pushed his twin 5 year old sons onto his grumpy brother-in-law. His wife (a very curvy supermodel... well, she _was_) was currently in labor with their daughter out in their limo. Not wanting to leave the boys alone with their house staff or in the hospital waiting room, the frazzled Hitachiin decided to visit his twin and his husband.

...Kyo had not been amused.

Come a reasonable time in the morning, Kyo had gotten up, kissed his blushing 'bride' good morning, headed downstairs to the kitchen and made enough breakfast to feed an army. Leading the twins, Tsuji and Isuji, down to breakfast, Kaoru left them with his husband while he went and called his own twin to see how things were going. Learning that his sister-in-law was still in labor, Kaoru ate a quick breakfast and left his nephews with his husband so he could keep his brother company at the hospital.

This is how Kyo found himself on the receiving end of the question adults every where feared being asked by children: where do babies come from.

Kyo was positive that Hikaru had purposely put his own children up to this...

Sighing, Kyo wondered if he could get away with telling the twins exactly how babies were made. In the end he decided it wasn't worth it. The twins were innocent, no reason to corrupt them anymore then their father would already do to them. And Kaoru would kill him dead.

"Well..." started Kyo, scratching his chin, his eyes looking up at the ceiling. "There're a lot of theories about that actually. Some say when mommies and daddies really love each other, that their love makes a baby. Some say a stork. There's even a theory that babies come from special cabbages."

Tsuji looked at his brother curiously. "Why didn't daddy tell us that?"

Shrugging his little shoulders, Isuji gave Kyo a worshipful look. "I don't know, but Uncle Kyo is really smart."

"Yeah, yeah," agreed Tsuji, his golden-brown eyes sparkling. "Uncle Kyo is great! But it isn't daddy's fault, Isuji. Remember, Auntie Haruhi said daddy was dropped on his head."

Kyo coughed to cover up his laugh. Now he knew that Hikaru _had_ put the twins up to asking him that dreaded question. But the little tykes were too smart for their own good and remembered all sorts of things. He could remember Haruhi making that comment about Hikaru two years ago at his own birthday party.

"Hey, kids," Kyo called, a smirk slowly growing on his face. "You wanna know where your daddy came from?"

**rollinthehayrollinthehayrollinthehay**

Little Hikari Hitachiin was born after her mother had to go through 16 grueling hours of labor. She was the female duplicate of her father, uncle, and older twin brothers. Or, as her grandmother would say, she looked just like her. Golden-brown eyes watched everything around her curiously, and fuzzy light red hair was hidden under a pink knitted cap (compliments of her Auntie Haruhi).

Currently though, Hikari's interest was focused on her uncle with the red hair brighter then her own and with interesting red eyes that was holding her, along with the two matching sets of eyes to her own that were peering over said uncle's arm.

Kyo had long ago come to the conclusion that children were just magnetically drawn to him.

"She's so tiny..." Isuji said breathlessly, looking at his little sister.

"Most babies are," Kyo agreed, smiling. "But don't worry, she'll get big enough soon to play with you."

Tsuji nodded. "Good. We don't want a boring sister."

From where they were leaning against the wall in Hikari's nursery room, Kaoru slapped Hikaru on the arm as soon as he heard 'boring'. He gave his twin an exasperated look, recalling what they were like at the twins age. "You are _not_ letting your children grow up to be like we were."

Hikaru rubbed his arm, pouting. "I can't help it, they're too much like us already."

Kaoru rolled his eyes.

Snorting, Kyo stood up from the rocking chair he had been sitting in. He ignored the twins little frustrated sounds of losing the object of their collected interest. Hikari simply stared up at her uncle with big wondering eyes. Kyo moved over to where Hikaru and Kaoru were standing, handing the little girl over to her daddy.

"As much as I _love_ baby drool and wet diapers..." started Kyo, standing back when Hikari was safely transferred over. "We're gonna have to leave soon," he finished, moving to wrap an arm around Kaoru's waist. "We've both got to get a early start in the morning."

Hikaru nodded, moving to sit in the vacated rocking chair, his sons automatically gathering around him so they could watch their sister again. "You're flying out to a tournament tomorrow, right?"

"In the states," Kaoru answered for Kyo, leaning into his husband. "And I've got to do my job and your job tomorrow..."

"Thanks, by the way," smiled Hikaru, looking up at his brother. "I really want to be here for her until she's a month old at least. It's a critical time after all."

"You have no idea how disturbing it is to know you've read baby books," deadpanned Kyo.

Hikaru grinned.

Shaking his head, Kaoru started to pull Kyo towards the door of Hikari's nursery. "We should go now. Bye Hikaru. Bye Isuji and Tsuji."

The littlest twins turned to look at their uncles, replying at the same time. "Bye-bye Uncle Kaoru and Kyo."

"Bye kiddos," Kyo called back as he was being pulled out. As he was about ready to say bye to Hikaru, he paused, pulling Kaoru back with him. "Hey Hikaru. The other day, your spawn there asked me a very... riveting question."

Hikaru blushed, knowing instantly what his brother-in-law meant. "Eh, heh heh, sorry Kyo. They wanted to know were Hikari came from but I couldn't think of how to answer them. I told them to ask you next time they saw you, since they see you and Kaoru more then anyone else. I knew Kaoru would be stumped too."

"That's ok, Hikaru. The twins and I understand, seeing as you were dropped on your head," grinned Kyo, his grin changing into a smirk when he could hear Kaoru's muffled snickering. "And of course my Kaoru is too innocent to know the answer to babies himself."

"Hey," Kaoru protested, blushing.

"So you answered them," Hikaru continued, glancing at his sons then back at Kyo.

Kyo had a mischievous grin on his face. "I'll let them answer for themselves."

Kaoru groaned. "Oh no..."

"Kyo," wearily called Hikaru. "What did you do? What did you _say_?"

"Let them answer," Kyo kept on grinning.

"Fine," Hikaru sighed. He gave his sons a serious look. "So, what did Uncle Kyo tell you about where babies come from?"

Tsuji and Isuji both perked up at the question.

"He said some babies come from storks," Isuji answered, with a big smile on his face.

"And some come from special cabbages," added Tsuji, smiling just as big.

"But mostly," they said together, "Babies are made from love."

Kaoru and Hikaru gave Kyo surprised looks.

"That actually doesn't sound so bad," Hikaru commented.

"Sounds sweet," smiled Kaoru, pulling Kyo's head down to kiss him on the cheek.

Kyo grinned. "But wait, there's more. Tell them what else I told you."

Tsuji giggled. "Me and Isuji are made from love. And so is Hikari! Uncle Kyo came from the stork, Auntie Haruhi too. And Uncle Tamaki came from a cabbage!"

Laughing, Kaoru kissed Kyo again. "A stork, huh?"

"Eh, I know it wasn't love in my case," shrugged Kyo. "And you really think Haruhi's dad is for real?"

Hikaru smirked. "Tono came from a cabbage?"

"The man is so a pod person."

"But daddy," Isuji interrupted the adults banter. "There's more! Uncle Kyo told us about you and Uncle Kaoru too."

"Did he," questioned Kaoru, giving his husband a worried look.

"Uh huh," nodded Tsuji, his light red hair flopping as he did so. "Uncle Kaoru was made from love."

Kaoru smiled. "I was, was I?"

"Hey," whined Hikaru. "What about me? Was I made from love too?"

"Nope," Isuji replied, shaking his head. "You're different."

"But we're twins like you two."

Kyo started to pull Kaoru out of the door, snickering as he did so. He winked at his husband when the younger redhead gave him a curious look. As they were walking down the hallway, they could still hear the twins and Hikaru.

"Uncle Kyo said it was complicated how that worked," sighed Isuji. "He promised to explain it when we got older."

"So where did I come from then," Hikaru's voice could be heard.

The twins answered together happily. "On a door step!"

There was silence coming from the nursery as Kyo and Kaoru made their way out of the house. Kaoru was doing his best to muffle his laugher while Kyo grinned all the while. The quiet was broken, though, once they were outside and getting ready to get in their car.

"_**KYO!**_"

"Door step?" Kaoru sniggered as he sat in the passenger seat.

Kyo cackled as he drove away. "REVENGE!"


End file.
